THE ADOPTION TRIAD
The Oklahoma Adoption Coalition strives to help the Adoption Triad (Birth parents, Adoptees, and Adoptive parents). Following are questions you may find useful at the initial meeting or as you get to know each other. Please check back for more information specific to the Adoption Triad.
Birth Parents: Questions to ask potential adoptive parents
– These are POSSIBLE questions to ask at the initial meeting, or over time as you get to know them.
– You may not agree with all the questions and there may be other questions you want to ask.
– This is just to help you get a feel for what kind of information you might want to know.
– Write the answers to the questions to help you to select your baby’s parents.
What is the name of the adoptive father?
What is the name of the adoptive mother?
What is the age of the adoptive father?
What is the age of the adoptive mother?
What state do you live in?
What religion do you practice?
What profession is the adoptive father in?
What profession is the adoptive mother in?
If both parents work: Who will care for the child when you are at work?
What are the adoptive mother’s hobbies/interests?
What are the adoptive mother’s hobbies/interests?
Do you play any sports?
What are your favorite sports teams?
Do you do volunteer work?
Please describe your personalities?
Do you have any other children?
Are your children biological, or adopted?
What are the children’s names and ages?
Are you able to have biological children?
Are you able to share why you cannot have biological children?
If you can have biological children, why do you want to adopt?
How do your family and friends feel about you adopting children?
If you have a biological baby after this baby is born, how will that affect your relationship with the adopted child?
What kind of adoption are you looking for? (open, semi-open, etc.)
What, if any, compromises are you willing to make?
Do you have any pets?
What kind of schools do you plan to enroll the child in? (private / public)
How did you meet?
How long did you date before they were married?
How long have you been married?
Is this the first marriage for both of you?
Are there any diseases that run in your families?
How big are your extended families?
What do you do for holidays? (Thanksgiving, Christmas)
What do you do for vacations? (travel, relax, etc.)
What extended family will the baby have?
What is the highest level of education for both of you?
How much contact do you want before the child is born?
Do you want to be in the delivery room with you when the baby is born? (If you are comfortable with this)
If this baby is born with birth defects, will you still want to adopt my baby?
Will you tell this child he/she is adopted?
If so, when will you tell him/her about the adoption?
Adoptive Parents: Questions to ask potential birth parents
– These are POSSIBLE questions to ask at the initial meeting, or over time as you get to know them.
– You may not agree with all the questions and there may be other questions you want to ask.
– This is just to help you get a feel for what kind of information you might want to know.
– Write the answers to the questions and keep them in your child’s baby book.
What is the first name of the birth father?
What is the first name of the birth mother?
What is the age of the birth father?
What is the age of the birth mother?
What is your favorite color?
What is your favorite snack?
What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Do you play sports?
Do you have a favorite sports team?
What is your favorite book?
What is your favorite movie?
What TV show do you like to watch the most?
Please describe your personality.
What is your birth date?
Do you have any siblings?
What is your birth order?
What state do you live in?
What religion do you practice?
Is the birth father in school? If so, what grade/year?
Is the birth mother in school? If so, what grade/year?
Do/did you like school?
Does the prospective birth father work?
Does the prospective birth father work?
What is your dream job?
Do you have any other children?
If so, what is the child(ren)’s name(s) and age(s)?
How does your family feel about you making an adoption plan for your child?
How do your friends feel about you making an adoption plan for your child?
What kind of adoption are you looking for? (open, semi-open, etc.)
Do you have any pets?
What are your pets names?
How did you meet the baby’s birth father?
How long did you date/were married to the birth father?
What is your favorite memory of the baby’s birth father?
How did the birth father react when you told him you were pregnant?
How big are your extended families?
What kind of music do you like to listen to?
Who is your favorite musician/band/group?
What do you do for holidays? (Thanksgiving, Christmas)
What do you do for vacations? (travel, relax, etc.)
What is your favorite childhood memory?
What are the hobbies of the birth father?
What are the hobbies of the birth mother?
How much contact do you want before the child is born?
Would you be comfortable if one or both of us were in the delivery room with you when the baby is born?
What would you like for your baby to know about you?
Adoptees: Questions to ask your birth parents
– These are POSSIBLE questions to ask at the initial meeting, or over time as you get to know them.
– You may not agree with all the questions and there may be other questions you want to ask.
– This is just to help you get a feel for what kind of information you might want to know.
What is the name of my birth father?
What is the name of my birth mother?
How old were you when you met my birth father/mother?
How did you meet my birth father/mother?
How long did you date/were married?
What is your favorite memory of my birth father/mother?
How did my birth father react when you told him you were pregnant?
Please provide me with a medical history for yourself and your parents and grandparents.
How big are your extended families?
What kind of music do you like to listen to?
Who is your favorite musician/band/group?
What do you do for holidays? (Thanksgiving, Christmas)
What do you do for vacations? (travel, relax, etc.)
What is your favorite childhood memory?
What is your favorite color?
What is your favorite snack?
What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Do you play sports?
Do you have a favorite sports team?
What is your favorite book?
What is your favorite movie?
What TV show do you like to watch the most?
Please describe your personality.
What is your birth date?
Do you have any siblings?
What is your birth order?
What state do you live in?
What religion do you practice?
Did you like school?
What was your best subject in school?
Do I have any full or half siblings?
If so, what is their names and ages?
Do they know about me?
How old were you when you placed me for adoption?
Whose decision was it to place me for adoption?
How did that make you feel?
Have you tried to contact or find me before?
What did you plan to do for a living when you were a teenager?
What do you currently do for a living?
Do you have any pets?
What are your pets’ names?
What are your hobbies?
What would you like for me to know about you?